Purpose

 I spent an hour or so journaling about 2020 and setting some intentions for 2021. Basically, what came out of my time was that 2020 was a year of further learning for me. I almost feel that what has transpired in mine and Mark's life since the end of 2015 truly prepared us for 2020. Yes, things were scary, things were uncertain, but that is the road we have walked prior to this year. We learned to walk in Joy. So, we were prepared to find joy in this last year too. As I wrote about the things that have happened, there have been way more good things than bad for us. 2020 wasn't without struggles, but constantly looking for and finding joy has put the good things in the forefront of my mind.  2021 will start with treatment for Mark. He has to start his no iodine diet the 2nd(so we both will, as that is what you do for those you love). He goes off his thyroid med for the month as well(that part worries me more as I'm not sure how his body will react), but.... once he is done, he sees the endocrinologist and they will start working on the right dosage of medication .... and our new puppy Remington will be ready to live with us! 

2020 brought the seizure that found Mark's thyroid issue, which turned into surgery, which had complications along the way all while going to multiple doctors and hospitals during Covid. It was scary and unnerving but necessary to get where we are today. Forced to eat differently for a solid month which might just set us up for success since it takes a month for a habit to form. 

My biggest take-away from 2020 and the word I kept coming back to.... PURPOSE! 

While working from home from March through August, I noticed that everything I did began to have purpose. I planned lessons with purpose, I grocery shopped with purpose because I didn't want to make multiple trips to the store, I spent a lot of purposeful time reading, sipping coffee on my deck, doing yoga on my deck, sitting around the campfire, talking to my neighbors, re-imagining Halloween, buying purposeful Christmas gifts, making sure I budgeted purposefully so I could help out local businesses. I feel really good about all of that, and that gives me JOY!

So, my 2021 will be lived with purpose. I will find purpose in the things I choose to do, because that is what gives me joy. 

Watch for a weekly blog as I go on this journey. I'm simply moving my Joy Jar to online. 

Happy New Year and #Findyourjoy

Weirdest extended weekend of 2020

 In a year of uncertainty, this weekend sure took the prize.

Thursday night, we received the phone call about remote instruction. I taught from home on Friday. Many students didn't log in at all to my team. I felt bad. I thought I had prepared them on what to do. It's not me, or my subject, I know that, it's just disheartening in a teaching year that is already disheartening. 

So, while I had a Kim pity party, there were some other monumental things that happened to snap me out of it. 

See, in the grand scheme of things, some 8th graders not logging on to my team was nothing.

55 students and 10 adults have to quarantine. Some of their siblings(which I have) are as well. What a crazy time for them.

Then Sunday we heard of the passing of a current district employee. This has further saddened the entire district and the High School in particular. 

Monday, a music friend of mine(from another district) had a tragedy happen to her. Her husband was severely injured a work. He was taken to ECMC and had surgery to reconstruct his face. 

I had to look hard for joys, but I found them. 

I did meet (socially distanced of course), with some dear friends I hadn't seen in a long time. We all have relatives that have medical issues making them more fragile. It was awesome to meet and talk, and just catch up. 

My friend's husband, is out of surgery, not in a lot of pain, and looks like no injury to the eye. He will have several surgeries to repair other areas, but will make it. 

The family of our Pioneer employee who passed is hurting so bad. So I pray for them. She is gone way too soon, but I know she is in Heaven looking down on all of us. Caring for us, as she did here on earth. 

So, stop, take a look for those joys, and hold on to them like crazy. 

Stop take the time to look at the beautiful Fall colors.

Stop, take the time to listen to the sound of the wind or the birds, or yourself just breathing in and out. 

Stop, take the time to feel the cool air or the sunshine on your face.

Above all, Stop and.......

#Findyourjoy

here we go

 Last night at 8pm, the phone call came. We were moving to full remote for at least tomorrow. 

here is what my mind said

1. Oh man....we knew this could happen, but so soon?

2. I wonder if I've been exposed, I see half the school

3. What period of time, and distance does it take to be exposed?

4. I can do this tomorrow, I'm prepared.

That last statement made it so I could go to sleep last night.

I had prepared for this. I went into the school year knowing this could happen and tried to get me and my students ready in case this happened.

I only see my hybrid students one time per week so I hoped the message was loud and clear what to do and how to do it if this happened. Fingers crossed.

A bit of this does depend on the parents. I provide the instruction and they have to get their student up and make sure they log on to do the work.

I have the instruction on there. I have been working since 7:20am making sure the student who would have seen me in class received instruction. 

I have 8th grade 1st period. I can see when they log in to my team. None of them had logged in at 11am.

This kind of curve ball that has been thrown will only work if we work as a team. I did my job, now I need the parents and students to do their job.  I know it's not easy, but it's not easy for any of us. We need to work together.

No, I didn't sleep in, I had coffee, breakfast, and was at my computer at the time I would have been arriving at school. I took 30 minutes for lunch, and was back at it. 

I will be at my computer until 2:30 when I would log off and leave school. 

However, I will be back on this weekend. Looking for last minute assignments or questions from students who I know had to watch their younger siblings today, or had spotty wi-fi and needed to have their parent drive them to a hotspot to download or upload work. 

I'm hoping we are back on Tuesday, but if not, I'm ready. I've been ready, I will be ready. 

I am  teacher. 

Be kind, show grace, and stay safe.

#Findyourjoy

Balancing Act

 Friday was a ROUGH DAY! The weeks are going quickly at school, but that's a problem. I feel a little.....no a lot behind. Getting assignments up is going well, it's getting the assignments back, grading them, helping kids with problems online, and finally getting them in the grade book. 

It feels like I'm doing three jobs. I'm lucky currently, I have a REALLY good student teacher and she is killing it. I only have her a couple of more weeks and then I'm going to take back things and it'll be more.

That coupled with Mark and his needs and I felt exhausted and totally overwhelmed.  I'm trying to balance this so I don't do school work all weekend. I'd like to be able to not do any schoolwork over the weekend, but it's impossible. Right now at least. 

I also have students contacting me over the weekend. I know they "should" be doing their work during the week when they are home, but there are so many extenuating circumstances for them too. 

Balancing is hard. 

So.... today I rest. Sunday is for rest. 

I'm no good to anyone, if I don't.

So.... I've had coffee, read, sat outside in the sunshine, made lasagna, paid some bills, and going to watch the football game. Everything else can wait. 

I feel a little guilty, but I know I'll be better for it going into the work week.

So, be kind to each other, show some grace. 

#Findyourjoy

Teaching in the pandemic

 School is exhausting but good. We are getting into the swing of things and the new temporary normal. Not all of the students are getting there, but we are patient and just keep working towards everyone being able to navigate learning this way. It's not ideal for everyone, but some are doing better than when school was the other way. We have to adapt and learn to teach everyone. That's what is exhausting. Exciting, but exhausting. 

Learning a new way to do something can be good, if we go into it with that mindset.... heck, it might even become a joy!

Mark Update

 After the crazy complications that happened the week of the surgery, Mark is doing really well. 

The hardest thing is to not let him do too much too soon. Of course he says "I'm fine", but I see the tiredness. It's natural for me to protect him. 

He has two doctor's appointments this week, one to his regular physician and one to the surgeon. After the appointment to the surgeon we will know more about the pathology report. The doctor is positive it was cancerous(probably on both sides) but it didn't look like there was any lymph node involvement. That is good! I don't anticipate any treatment for cancer like radiation or chemo. He will have to be on medication though. I do know many people who have lived with this for many years on meds and do just fine. 

#Findyourjoy

I'm back! and Where I was!

 I'm back!

Where was I?

Wallowing in my self-pity.

Doubting in my ability.

Wondering if putting myself and my life out there was a good thing.

But, I'm back! 

Here is the whole truth:

Someone close to me berated me and yelled at me for publishing this blog. This person said to me "You shouldn't be putting your whole life out there for people to see." 

This person hurt me terribly. So I stopped writing.

Then Mark's surgery happened and there were complications. School started at the same time, and it was hard. My life felt like it was spinning out of control, and I was mad.

So, I had a heart to heart with myself, prayed a lot, and decided I need to blog. I need the documentation in writing about finding my joy. 

Writing down your joys is so important. It makes them tangible. It reminds me of the good things I do have happening in my life amongst the struggles. It puts me in a better place, physically, mentally, and spiritually. 

I couldn't come back to this until I reconciled my anger with the person who broke my spirit. 

I'm blessed, I'm whole, I'm walking forward, and I'm finding my joy.

It HAS to be my priority.