Where Things Are

 I haven't written on this blog in years. I need to though. I need to purge the feelings I am having. Things haven't changed too much. I still have neuropathy, I have joint pain and inflammation. I am going to remain on the exemestane (this drug is an estrogen blocker). My tumor and cancer was fueled by estrogen. I was originally staying on it 5 years but now it's been moved out to 10 years. I haven't had anything in mammograms that suggest cancer but the tumor had a high probability of returning. Here's the funny thing. Every time they ask me if I have side effects from the drug I say no. 

The side effects are: 

hot flashes- well I'm 54 and have no uterus or ovaries so YES I have hot flashes. 

Joint Pain- I had joint pain before the exemestane and see a rheumatologist who says my ANA's are up (indicating something going on) but all other tests are negative so far.

It's frustrating and emotional. Is it the exemestane? Is there a different drug they can use instead? 

Frankly, I'm scared. I'm scared to come off the exemestane. I'm closing in on the 10 year mark of my initial diagnosis. 

I've also known two people who had breast cancer around the same time I did and they have had their cancer returned with a vengeance. 

I don't know if the 10 year mark is a time to breathe easier or begin to worry. 

So I breathe, I move as best I can, and I continue to find my joy. It just takes a little more reminding and purposefulness lately. 

#findyourjoy

It's Been a Little While

 It has been a little while since I posted last, but my aryuvedic journey is going remarkably well. I just went to my regular physician, and my blood pressure is down, and I've lost 5 pounds. I didn't start this journey to do those things but they certainly are a benefit. 

More importantly, I feel better, When I get sick(there are a lot of germs when you teach half of the school), I bounce back faster, and I have more joy!

I can move my body. I'm wanting to eat healthier things. I still have special treats and don't feel guilty or over indulge. This whole thing makes so much sense to me. 

I feel like my brain is less foggy, and I'm wanting to play piano and sing things that challenge me. 

It's so amazing

I hope you have a great week and can #findyourjoy

Starting my Ayurvedic Journey

 I have been taking private yoga lessons for many years now. After my cancer journey which included chemo and radiation, I developed permanent peripheral neuropathy. Sometimes I'm feeling good, but there are many days where my hands and feet hurt terribly. So, I started taking private yoga lessons so that my instructor(Danielle, she's amazing!) can tailor my movement that day to what I can tolerate. 

Anyway, I have learned so much about my body and how it can move even in the midst of limitations and pain. Also, how important it is to move even when in pain. Yoga has provided all of it for me.

As Danielle and I have been on our yoga journey, we do talk, A LOT! I was ready to find a way to nourish my body with good foods and develop a lifestyle. I hate the word diet, and I don't love to feel like I am restricting myself. I like to eat! She introduced my to Ayuveda. I just started coaching with an ayuvedic expert and it has been mind-blowing and life-changing. It is a slow process which works for me. I am making better food choices, eating at the right times of day, caring for myself, and sleeping so much better at night. I'm only though the initial consult, and one coaching session with 3 more to go. 

I am very excited by my journey and how to find my health again. Sarah(my ayuvedic coach) said that even though I had chemo and radiation 6 years ago, that the trauma physically and emotionally is still there(I hadn't really thought of that), and I need to nourish my mind, body, and soul to eliminate the rest of the toxins and trauma. 

This process makes so much sense to me. Even as a Christian. I know there are people who think these practices are a religion, but it isn't for me. It's a means to a better, healthier life where I can move the body God gave me. I can nourish the body God gave me, and I can thank Him through it all!

I'm Back!

 I'm back! I needed to take a little time off and do some serious re-evaluating of some things. Most of my summer of re-evaluating went well. So here is a brief update:

I am no longer selling Perfectly Posh. The company was acquired underneath an existing company, and it just wasn't going to work for me anymore. I still love the product and will continue to use it as long as I can get it.

I started to see an Aryuvedic Coach. Doing weekly private yoga sessions has helped me immensely in so many ways (watch for a future post), and now I was ready to add on to what I am doing for myself.

This aryuvedic journey is so amazing that I will be doing a bunch of posts on it. I am in the starting phase now, but will be keeping you updated.

We really didn't go anywhere this summer. We went to a concert in July (Jackson Browne). It was Mark's first concert since his stroke. We chose an outdoor venue and he did great.

We did make a quick last minute trip to Pennsylvania to see Mark's family. It was fun and made us both realize that we need to be more intentional about planning some camping vacations next summer. 

I am very positive about the school year. There are A LOT of changes and A LOT of talking about education in general, but I am going to go in and do what I do best. CONNECT WITH KIDS! Being at the end of my public teaching career(less than 5 years), I feel like I can put all of the chatter aside and just do what is best for kids. So, that's what I am going to do.

The ultimate question.... Did I find joy this summer? I wasn't specifically looking for it, but as I look back.... Yes. I did find my joy in much of this summer. 

I'm excited to tell you more.

To everyone headed back to school or sending kids off to school, best of luck and start your day with finding that joy!

JOY.

 See my shirt? 

I FINALLY got to see For King and Country in concert!!!!!

I started using the hashtag Findyourjoy quite awhile ago. When I had the opportunity in the Fall of 2019 to talk about my journey, I wanted to find a song that embodied the feeling of that hashtag. I found it in a song called Joy by For King and Country.

I bought this shirt at the concert. What I love about it is that it says "joy." I love the peiord(.). It all there is. It's the pinnacle.

Who or what do you put your joy in? 

I hope you have a fantastic week and as always I hope you can #findyourjoy

Find Your Community

 It has been an emotional couple of weeks for me. I yearn for a slower time again. Preferably without the pandemic. I actually was okay when the shut down happened because I wasn't so busy. That's what I learned. I like not being busy. I like to make decisions on what I want to do and not feel compelled to have to do something or make a decision about doing something that I don't want to do or brings me joy.

Now I'm back to busy, busy, busy and I frankly hate it. 

I want to do the things I want to do and are important to me, but I have other responsibilities that add to the busyness. 

This is causing me to look too far ahead again instead of the day in front of me, it is causing me to be short tempered with Mark(which makes me feel horrible), and it makes me feel out of control. 

I am finding my joy though, mostly through my community. So I will say it again. Having that community to surround you is so important. 

I'll get my joy and mojo back....... I will.

I hope you all have a great week and #findyourjoy!

Spring Break

 This past week was Spring break and I had all sorts of plans to get a few things done around the house. I did some of them, but I hurt my back and that prevented me from getting everything done.

The old me would have been mad and sad and a royal pain to be with. As I thought about it though, I did accomplish a lot this week, and maybe I needed to do some resting before the last quarter of school happens. Also, my weekends are super full through June so rest was needed. 

It's Saturday. I just picked up my grocery order, I'm baking some cookies while I get some work done, and tonight I'm making homemade pizza and popcorn and watching a movie.

Tomorrow is busy with church and two family dinners, so Monday morning will come quickly.

I hope you have been able to find some rest this week, and as always I hope you can #findyourjoy