I have been thinking a lot about my joy journey lately. It's always good to check in and see how you are progressing. It was good. It was frustrating. It was sad. It was all of the feelings
I didn't realize that "checking in" with my progress would evoke so many emotions, but it sure did.
I read a few books and a few blogs and began to think I was going about finding joy all wrong. That I wasn't really good at it and I needed to start over completely. After a few days where I really wrestled with that and having some good conversations with people who I'm close to, I realized this......
It's MY journey. We all find joy differently. In different things and in different ways.
I realized that along with finding my joys I was also looking at other's joys and in many cases becoming jealous.
Oh Jealousy is a horrible thing.
I was jealous of other people's joys. I thought I wanted those joys, and when I wasn't finding them, I was jealous that they had.
Then I started thinking again. Were those joys? or things?
There is a difference. Maybe I'm not as content as I thought I was.
Do I need full contentment before I can find joy?
Maybe not full contentment, but a level of contentment.
If I don't have some contentment, then the joy may not really be mine.
The other question I've been wrestling with is:
How do my current joys factor in to my dreams for the future?
Mark is a live day to day guy. He always has been. I have a hard time doing that. I have plans and dreams, but when I begin to doubt those, I begin to lose my joy.
Joy is in the moment. I need to find those joys in the moment, and smile at them, relax in them, let them hug my soul. But in the back of my head I always wonder "Is there an implication for the future(good or bad) in this?"
It's something I'm working on and thankful Mark has a different perspective.
Am I thinking too hard on this? or Are Joys simply Joys that make our walk through this life more beautiful?
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