Joys for the week ending May 2nd

 It is finally May! The school year was flying by and since the whole student body came back 5 days a week it has crawled. This has been really hard. I guess I got used to smaller classes due to the hybrid situation. It was so nice having smaller classes, being able to really connect with students because of those small classes, and there were no discipline issues. It's back to reality now. Larger classes, less connections, and more discipline issues. 

Anyway, this week is teacher appreciation week. I don't want or need "things". I need to know that I'm valued and showed that I am valued. I have taught middle school for 25 years and fully know that this age group rarely tells their teachers how much they appreciate them. It's the age, it's fine. Sometimes I do get the privilege of former students coming back and telling me the impact which is nice, but I am not there for that. The students that do come back though, they are usually students from my choir or show choir. I have more opportunities to connect with those groups. Most are there because they want to be, not because they have to be. I don't have those groups this year. I honestly don't think I could handle them in my schedule with everything else I have to do. I also know that I teach in an area that "isn't the core", and sometimes my colleagues will hold students from coming to my class because the student needs to do something for them. I know that their actions aren't personal, but we are all a little fragile right now and I have been taking it personally. 

It's exhausting, I'm exhausted, I'm feeling like a bad teacher right now. I feel like I can't create the lessons or the environment I want to and it's frustrating. So... I'm looking hard for those joys, but I found some and here they are:

1. Mark has had a good end of the week. Not so great at the beginning, but he had a good ending.

2. I was able to thoroughly clean the downstairs and it looks good. 

3. Nate was able to travel to Connecticut for some dear friends wedding. He had a great time!

4. I have a new lesson I am going to do on Wednesday. It combines popular music and emotions. It fits well with our current unit of study and will cover social emotional learning goals which are so needed for these students. 

5. We had some nice weather days this week and I am thankful for the beauty of my backyard to enjoy it. 

Joy in "Things"(Joys ending April 25th)

 I had a rough week finding my joy. The only thing I posted that brought me joy was one 7th grade class who had a great time improving the blues on bell sets. So I thought that naturally all of my classes would. WRONG! Some did not and it wasn't as fun. 

That got me thinking. Am I putting too much into finding joy in "things"? I kind of feel that finding it in a thing or being dependent on other people to create the joy for me was my only option this week. 

Teachers are struggling. Do not let them fool you. We are happy to have students back, but it is REALLY hard. Compound that with the grade levels I teach(7th and 8th grade), and most of them are not happy to be back like this either. Discipline issues are up in my classes due to doubling the number of students in there and the fact that they had a lot more freedom during the week with things like phones etc. 

They are more moody than ever. 

As the adult and teacher, I try to do what I can, but it is difficult. I hope things start to turn around soon. Also, many parents and other adults considered teachers heroes at the beginning of this, but now many feel like we are lazy. It's been defeating in many ways. I love the profession I chose, and knew there would be hard times but this is something I never anticipated. 

Back to finding joy. I'm working on really digging deep and finding joy within me, not in external things that I don't have control over. So here's my list for the week:

1. I think we had the final snow of the season (fingers crossed)

2. I was able to help Paige with a paper this week. I felt like I was really teaching and contributing

3. I was able to play for two students' solos for the virtual state solo festival.

4. I did get to sit on the deck yesterday morning and enjoy my coffee

Hope you #findyourjoy this week!

How do you "Let it Go"? and Joys ending the week of April 18th

 Letting things go is super hard for me. I think it might be a girl thing. When I have a bad day...or week (like this week), I'll come home and Mark will listen to my re-telling of the day... but more often than not say"Kim, you have to let it go." Well, this week.... that totally annoyed me! 

I have a hard time letting things go. Do you? So, I did a little evaluating this weekend on why I have such a hard time. 

I'm a planner. I like to have a plan and have everything in order. I try to be flexible, and sometimes I can be, but when my plans are dependent on someone else doing something I think they should it all falls apart.

So, where am I now? I am struggling. I am struggling between the plan I have in my head not being able to happen because the people I need to make changes so that will happen can't or won't and just saying "oh well, that's the way it's going to be" and move on. The problem comes when it is something that you care about. 

I haven't resolved this, and it might never be resolved and I might have to be okay with that. 

This week.... I work on "Letting Go".

In the midst of this chaos in my head and heart, I have found joys and here they are:

1. Sunday dinner and dominoes with my parents are the best

2. My colleague Bridgette had her baby a couple of weeks early and everyone is doing fine!

3. Nate is her sub so I get to work with him through the end of the year.

4. The sun is shining and that helps my soul

Spring

 What a beautiful week to have Spring break! It was perfect weather. I have so many things that brought me joy this weekend I feel renewed and ready to tackle the end of the school year. I'm so thankful.

Here's my joys for the week ending April 11th

1. We got our patio furniture out!

2. I was able to have leisurely coffee mornings on that furniture on the deck!

3. I spent quality time with Mark and Nate

4. I had my first one on one yoga lesson in a long time (via zoom). I am so thankful for Danielle!

5. Spent some quality time with Paige and Jared when we went to Rochester to spend the night at their house. (Thanks for watching the house and dogs Nate!)

How was your week?

#Findyourjoy

Joys for the week ending April 4th (Easter Sunday)

 Happy Easter! It is sunny and fairly warm. I don't care as much about the temperature as I do about the sunshine. Sunshine always is a pleasant sight, it makes me feel better. I'm hearing there is going to be a spectacular sunset tonight so I'm hoping to drive somewhere awesome to see it.

I have a lot to be joyful for this week, so here we go:

1. I am loved by the One who loves perfectly. I am thankful for this resurrection Sunday 

2. I am also loved by an amazing spouse- Mark is the most amazing man I know

3. It is Spring break from school. I do have a few things I need to do so won't be able to unplug entirely, but this week off is much needed.

4. I re-arranged my closet and have a huge bag of clothes to donate. 

5. I read 28 Summers in two days and am looking forward to more leisure reading this week.

#Findyourjoy

Joys for the week ending 3/28

 It’s been an interesting week, but I still found joys! 

1. Sitting on the deck!

2. Hearing the birds chirping in the morning!

3. It’s light out again while driving to work! 

4. My mom’s birthday! 

Is Joy a choice? and My joys ending the week of March 21st

 Is joy a choice? I was asked this question this week. Not by someone who was searching for joy, but by someone who strives to find it everyday. I thought for a moment, and said "Yes" it is. We all know people who are persistently negative. They only write negative things on facebook or other social media platforms. I was very close to being that person this week many times, but deleted my posts every time. Not because I wanted to hide the fact that I was having a hard week but because I have other avenues to deal with the hard things that come up and I have chosen to not use Facebook as the tool to get rid of those feelings. I don't mind when people do that though, I actually try to send some positivity their way in hope that it helps them turn things around. If I have some valuable insight into their struggles, I will also private message them. This week, however, when I was having some struggles, I simply snoozed a few of those people. I've been at my joy journey long enough that I know when toxic things can destroy my ability to find joy. I have to take care of my mental state first.

This week was hard. It has been an emotional week for teachers. One year since the shutdown, and new guidelines coming out daily. Just when I'm feeling like I'm doing alright with how things are, they change. That can be hard. Couple that with one year ago, teachers were heroes and now we are targets by so many. Even people I am close with have been bashing teachers, and my area of teaching in particular. I am human and it hurts. I love teaching, and I love music. It is an essential part of me, so why bash it? It  hurts me. Then I realized it is because they are frustrated and can't find their joy maybe. I remember how that feels. I remember being absolutely miserable and not feeling like my life was going anywhere. I still have moments like that. After this week, on Friday evening, I lost it, and lost it big. I was angry, I was sad, and I was done. Poor Mark got the brunt of it, but fortunately he sees it as his job as my husband and partner to help me work through these things and I do the same for him. I am so grateful for him. 

So is joy a choice?.... YES! and I strive to choose it everyday. It makes me a better person for myself and others. 

Joys for this week

1. Mark- he just listens and loves me.

2. The beautiful sunshine

3. The birds chirping in the morning. -Spring is here!

4. Puppy kisses in the morning!