I have been using the #Findyourjoy mantra for almost 5 years. I can't believe that really, but it's true. It has gotten me through cancer and the treatment, the permanent damage from the treatment, Mark's stroke and his subsequent health issues, but most recently it has gotten me through this last year.
This has been a learning year, I'm not going to say it was bad or horrible, because the whole time wasn't bad or horrible. Granted, I had had a lot of practice at finding joy before this happened and that certainly does not mean it gets easier, but I can lean faster into the joyful things that do happen or I can at least find something or someone who can help me move in that direction.
Anyway, as mark and I were talking last night about how we felt a year ago. Did we go to the store and stock up? Did we endlessly watch the news? Were we scared or nervous? Honestly... we couldn't remember. The first things I remember was going to school to hand out packets, then going to school to sit outside at a computer to get the files I needed, and finally getting 15 minutes in the school to grab any necessary materials I would need to teach from home. Then I got to work and taught from home. It was hard. It was eye-opening. It made me think about my teaching which was a good thing in my eyes. If I'm not trying to improve then I should be done.
Being home (even though it was hard) was a huge blessing. I was able to see into Mark's day. See first- hand his good days and bad days. This time also provided a big blessing. Mark was awarded full disability after a three year wait. We were fine on one income(we did change a lot of things to make that happen), but this gave us some breathing room.
My biggest regret was that I stopped sharing for awhile. Once I had taken people through the initial steps of finding your joy, I stopped. I stopped because I wasn't experiencing what I saw others experiencing through the shutdown. Some were from the tv and social media, but some were the struggles I saw immediate friends and family members going through. I didn't want to seem like I was bragging or boasting because I was still finding my joy.
With no commute to work (just to my home office) I was able to sit on the deck and linger a bit over a cup of coffee. I was able to take a lunch break and sit and talk to Mark. I was able to clean my house, and do some organizing I had put off. I was content being at home. I was safe being at home. I was with Mark. I didn't see Paige and Jared for quite awhile but we face-timed almost every day.
I had someone ask me why I had stopped blogging. Honestly I wasn't really sure how many people read my blog. So I had to do some soul searching and decided that if I shared my joys maybe that would help others find theirs.
What have I learned? On a basic level, I was a very busy person. I liked not being so busy this last year. It gave me time for things I didn't know I was missing.
Yesterday, a friend from college sent me a surprise package in the mail. It contained a keychain, notepads, and pens that say #Findyourjoy. What a lovely gift. It also contained a note from her. She has also been through some health struggles in the past and has loved embracing #Findyourjoy. I was humbled and I cried. Thank you Elizabeth for the thoughtful gift.
So... here are my joys for the week
1. Mark is fully vaccinated
2. His almost 91 year old Grandmother is too.
3. I got up early every day this week and spent time on my yoga mat before work. It made a big difference in my day.
4. Paige was able to visit for a few days. She brought her two dogs and all four dogs played so well. It made Mark smile and that makes me smile!
#Findyourjoy
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