Round #7

Well, normally I would be sitting in the doctor's office receiving round 7 and blogging. I am not, I am at home. I went to the doctor's office this morning thinking I would be doing round 7. My blood pressure and heart rates have been crazy all week. My blood pressure was low with a very high heart rate, my blood pressure has been normal with a better heart rate, and my blood pressure has been high with a high heart rate. Also, the neuropathy in my hands and feet are getting worse. Along with a very low white count. The doctor and I had a discussion and it was decided that the negatives of chemo are now outweighing the positives of chemo, so I have to be done. He said he doesn't feel comfortable doing the last two rounds as it could give me permanent damage to my hands and feet. He said he remembered I play piano and wants to make sure I still can. Also, my white counts didn't really rebound and he doesn't want to give me neulasta because of the bone pain. And the heart rate /blood pressure issue could be a real problem.

So, I still have to stay clear of people these next two weeks who may be sick because of my white counts. I see him in two weeks for blood work. I see the radiation oncologist in two weeks to get started with radiation. They figure 6-8 weeks everyday. My oncologist talked to my general physician and they are changing some of my regular meds and watching this blood pressure and heart rate thing as well as the neuropathy.

I have mixed emotions. I am thrilled to be done with chemo. I know I won't be bouncing back very quick. I know I have 6-8 weeks of radiation to get through. I'm a little nervous that I didn't finish the chemo rounds. So, it looks like the chemo portion of this journey is closing, and I'm on to the next.

I'm still really tired(I will be for awhile), and we have some hurdles to get over, so I rest.

been awhile

Well, I made it through the 6th treatment with no hives! The only reaction to the drug is general "chemo yuckiness" which feels like having the flu, and no feeling in my fingertips and toes. I'll take it over hives, trouble breathing and a hospital stay. I'm not getting the neulasta so I have to be careful not to be exposed to sickness because the neulasta helps with my immunity. Other than that, I am hanging in there. Being tired all the time is getting very old. I have treatment 7 this Friday.

Round 6

So today I am sitting here starting Round 6. The doctor had me come in as the first patient so that they could get started. After going over what happened the last time and my hospital stay, the doctor told me that only 1% of patients have the reaction I did as late as I did. So, here's the plan.

I am currently being loaded up on steroids and benadryl ( I actually started oral steroids yesterday and will continue those for a few days). Then after that, they will start the Taxol VERY SLOW for the first hour, if I do alright, then they will turn it up a bit and so on every hour until it's gone as long as there is no problem. You have to remember though, I had the reaction 27 hours later. I have to stay at home so I'm close to the hospital this weekend.

Also, because of the reaction and the craziness of my blood work, He is putting me on potassium pills, and I will have to stay away from crowds and have to be careful not to come in contact with anyone sick or who might be a carrier. He was glad I haven't been teaching because with no Neulasta for my counts, I need to be extra careful.

If I have a reaction this time, my rounds may possibly be over. They hope they can complete them, but we have to see.

On a positive note from my last round, there was a 5-12 choral concert this past Wednesday. My chorus performed and they were great! The choruses dedicated the concert to me, and as I watched via the live feed, they waved at me and gave me a message of love. My principal texted me near the end, and let the kids and audience know that I was watching! I miss them so much. Seeing them gave me the courage to try this round and finish this race so I can be with them again.

What's next

So, I finally heard from my doctor today. He wanted to know how long it took before the hives were totally gone and how I was feeling. I told him they didn't go completely away for a week and I was feeling better everyday. After consulting with the other oncologists in the practice, they have decided to go ahead with treatment on Friday(provided my counts are good). I will start steroids tomorrow, they will give me a lower dose of the med over a longer period of time. It's a desensitizing protocol. I have full confidence in my medical team but would lying if I said I wasn't hesitant. Having the reaction I did was scary and I don't want that to happen again. So, I prepare for Friday. Prayers and good thoughts please.

A case of the "why me"'s

This week has been really hard. Hard enough for me to whisper "why me"? Rounds 5-8 should have been easier. That's what everyone said. Taxol was the easier drug to deal with. It was until 27 hours later. Only I would have a severe allergic reaction to it. So now I fight to clear that chemical from my system and see what they are going to do next week.

So, I don't know why me, I try to be patient and take care of myself. I hope I catch a break soon.

My Easter

I can now let you all know that I wished you a Happy Easter from the hospital. I was doing fine with the new drug until about 6pm Saturday evening. I began getting itchy, broke out in hives and had trouble breathing. A trip to the emergency room put me in the hospital overnight. It was a reaction to the new chemo drug. By about 3am, I finally went to sleep with the hives finally decreasing.

Next up was my blood work. The dr. saw me Sunday morning and said my potassium was coming close to dangerously low so they were going to give me potassium, a lot of fluids, draw more blood at 2pm and probably send me home.

At 2pm my blood was drawn only to indicate that my potassium was good(yea!), but my hemoglobin had dropped significantly(oh the perils of chemo). So, I'm staying another night to get a blood transfusion.

Prayers that everything goes smoothly and I'm out of here tomorrow. I still can rejoice in this beautiful Easter Day though and am very grateful for the wonderful hospital staff who are taking care of me!

Opportunities

So far, so good with this round. Granted its only been 24 hours, but I'm feeling pretty good, just tired. Here's hoping everything stays status quo. This entry is titled opportunities, because I realized I had two amazing opportunities to tell my story this week to women I don't know very well or at all.

The first was actually at the vets office when Mark and I stopped there for Jaeger our dog. One of the vet techs knows me because I have taught her children. She had asked how I was doing and began asking me questions. As I was talking, other employees began to gather to listen as well as another lady who had her dog there. I basically told them it was my regular annual mammogram that caught the tumor and even though it was hard to detect(due to my dense breast tissue), the persistence of the doctor to run more tests to confirm what he thought he saw. We talked about my other tests, my surgery, why I chose the type of surgery I did, and my treatment.

My second opportunity came after treatment yesterday. It was 2pm when I got done. I was feeling good and I was hungry so my dad and I decided to get a quick bite to eat at a diner close by the treatment center. It's pretty obvious I am probably in treatment because I have no hair. I ordered a chicken souvlaki and some greek potatoes. I figured I could taste those. The salad I could but not the potatoes. When the waitress came back she asked me if there was something with the potatoes. I said no, I just couldn't taste them because I was in chemo and I have trouble tasting things. She asked if I went for treatment next door and I said yes. She asked what type of cancer I had and after I told her, she said she had recently had a breast cancer scare, but the lump was benign. She wished they would take it out because it bothered her. She asked a lot of questions, and I answered them all. She told me she thought it was wonderful how honest I was about my situation and willing to talk about it.

The point I made with all of those ladies is to go get your annual mammogram. I know it's uncomfortable and can be scary. Take a friend with you, ask me to go, just go. It's something I've gotten used to lately. I will be scanned often now, so if you have questions about any of the procedures I've had, just ask me. I'll be honest with you, I have thus far!