Is your joy lost?

What do you do if you can't find your joy? What if you look everywhere, and simply cannot find joy in anything or in any current situation?
Well first, don't sit there and decide that since you can't see it then it must not exist.
You need to start small. Your joy may have left you in an instant like I perceive that mine did (through those three words"You have cancer"), but really my joy was just hidden and I allowed it to stay that way. That's why it took me so long to realize and find it.

So, over time my joy diminished. With every thing that seemed like a huge burden or problem, the joy diminished. Therefore, I wouldn't expect that it would simply "pop" back up and shine brightly. It took time. It's constant work.
It's easy to simply say to yourself "there's nothing joyful about today", especially if you aren't willing to do some work.

Here are some suggestions:

1. Find your community of people.  I found mine on Facebook, at my church, at school, at the yoga studio, and even through this blog. I am not best friends with all of these people, but we all have something in common, struggles and finding our joy. Reach out to these people when you need them.

2. Don't be a "downer", but don't be fake either.  The only way out is through. Be honest. Be honest with yourself and others. If you are seriously without joy ALL of the time, this community may only be part of what you need. Humble yourself and seek some professional help. It's ok.

3. Even the little things count. Little steps to finding your joy are better than no steps at all. I constantly go back to the day I was having a pity party for myself during chemo. I was crying about feeling yucky, and wanting my hair back. Mark said to me " I'm sorry you don't feel good, your hair will grow back after chemo, and I'm giving you 10 minutes to cry then you need to get up a take a shower. If that's all you do today, it's better than doing nothing."  That may seem harsh, but it was just what I needed. Also, Mark said it in love, not because he was sick of my whining. There's a difference. After taking that shower (which was really hard because I felt awful), I realized that not having hair sped up the showering process, and I actually felt better being clean, warm and in new pajamas!  That was my joy for the day.

4. Write it down. When I am having a particularly hard day, I look back on my blog. Is my life easier? some would think yes, some would think no. Yes, I have some things to deal with, but I don't have cancer. Yes,  I have permanent neuropathy from that cancer, but I can still play piano most days, and I can teach school which is a huge joy for me. Am I the only source of income for our family? Yes, but I've become a lot better at budgeting, Mark doesn't have to worry and can concentrate on the things he needs to deal with, and most importantly he's still here with me.


I hope you can all find your joy today. I did, I'm enjoying a good cup of coffee, writing this blog, and have very window in the house open to hear, smell, feel and see a beautiful day!