I'm a little upset with myself, but know I shouldn't be. I have been really trying to take care of myself. I've been eating well, drinking water, exercising, and getting rest. But.... I still caught a nasty cold this week. It came out of nowhere. I felt fine, no actually great on Tuesday. When I got home from work, my throat felt a little raw and I had a dull headache. Then.... BAM! It hit me all at once and I was in bed so congested I wished I could puncture a hole in my face to drain the yuck. Then I spiked a little temperature. I tested for Covid twice, both negative.
So I rested. I was mad but rested. Today (Sunday) I'm better but still am congested and coughing a little. Ugh
Why was I so mad at myself?
Maybe I realized how I am not in control of some things. Even though I try to do everything "right" there are some things I cannot control.
So, how do I deal with them?
Guilt mostly. no, really don't you feel guilty when you thought you had control but ultimately didn't?
I felt horrible calling in to work.
Being a teacher is hard. There are no subs. When you call in, your colleagues pick up the slack. Your slack. Is it my slack though? I feel like it is.
Is it my slack? I have more questions then answers today. That's the congestion in my head I think.
My colleagues are great and did what they could. I would do the same for them.
Despite all of this, I did find joys this week.
1. The musical went really well. The kids did a great job!
2. Mark and I caught up on some things since we felt like we hadn't seen each other due to the tech week schedule
3. Mark is doing well. The golf course opens this week!
4. Mark had a neurology appointment and they don't need to see him for a year instead of 6 months
5. It's officially Spring!
I'm going to work hard at getting rid of the guilt this week.
Have a good week and as always I hope you can #findyourjoy
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