How do you "Let it Go"? and Joys ending the week of April 18th

 Letting things go is super hard for me. I think it might be a girl thing. When I have a bad day...or week (like this week), I'll come home and Mark will listen to my re-telling of the day... but more often than not say"Kim, you have to let it go." Well, this week.... that totally annoyed me! 

I have a hard time letting things go. Do you? So, I did a little evaluating this weekend on why I have such a hard time. 

I'm a planner. I like to have a plan and have everything in order. I try to be flexible, and sometimes I can be, but when my plans are dependent on someone else doing something I think they should it all falls apart.

So, where am I now? I am struggling. I am struggling between the plan I have in my head not being able to happen because the people I need to make changes so that will happen can't or won't and just saying "oh well, that's the way it's going to be" and move on. The problem comes when it is something that you care about. 

I haven't resolved this, and it might never be resolved and I might have to be okay with that. 

This week.... I work on "Letting Go".

In the midst of this chaos in my head and heart, I have found joys and here they are:

1. Sunday dinner and dominoes with my parents are the best

2. My colleague Bridgette had her baby a couple of weeks early and everyone is doing fine!

3. Nate is her sub so I get to work with him through the end of the year.

4. The sun is shining and that helps my soul

Spring

 What a beautiful week to have Spring break! It was perfect weather. I have so many things that brought me joy this weekend I feel renewed and ready to tackle the end of the school year. I'm so thankful.

Here's my joys for the week ending April 11th

1. We got our patio furniture out!

2. I was able to have leisurely coffee mornings on that furniture on the deck!

3. I spent quality time with Mark and Nate

4. I had my first one on one yoga lesson in a long time (via zoom). I am so thankful for Danielle!

5. Spent some quality time with Paige and Jared when we went to Rochester to spend the night at their house. (Thanks for watching the house and dogs Nate!)

How was your week?

#Findyourjoy

Joys for the week ending April 4th (Easter Sunday)

 Happy Easter! It is sunny and fairly warm. I don't care as much about the temperature as I do about the sunshine. Sunshine always is a pleasant sight, it makes me feel better. I'm hearing there is going to be a spectacular sunset tonight so I'm hoping to drive somewhere awesome to see it.

I have a lot to be joyful for this week, so here we go:

1. I am loved by the One who loves perfectly. I am thankful for this resurrection Sunday 

2. I am also loved by an amazing spouse- Mark is the most amazing man I know

3. It is Spring break from school. I do have a few things I need to do so won't be able to unplug entirely, but this week off is much needed.

4. I re-arranged my closet and have a huge bag of clothes to donate. 

5. I read 28 Summers in two days and am looking forward to more leisure reading this week.

#Findyourjoy

Joys for the week ending 3/28

 It’s been an interesting week, but I still found joys! 

1. Sitting on the deck!

2. Hearing the birds chirping in the morning!

3. It’s light out again while driving to work! 

4. My mom’s birthday! 

Is Joy a choice? and My joys ending the week of March 21st

 Is joy a choice? I was asked this question this week. Not by someone who was searching for joy, but by someone who strives to find it everyday. I thought for a moment, and said "Yes" it is. We all know people who are persistently negative. They only write negative things on facebook or other social media platforms. I was very close to being that person this week many times, but deleted my posts every time. Not because I wanted to hide the fact that I was having a hard week but because I have other avenues to deal with the hard things that come up and I have chosen to not use Facebook as the tool to get rid of those feelings. I don't mind when people do that though, I actually try to send some positivity their way in hope that it helps them turn things around. If I have some valuable insight into their struggles, I will also private message them. This week, however, when I was having some struggles, I simply snoozed a few of those people. I've been at my joy journey long enough that I know when toxic things can destroy my ability to find joy. I have to take care of my mental state first.

This week was hard. It has been an emotional week for teachers. One year since the shutdown, and new guidelines coming out daily. Just when I'm feeling like I'm doing alright with how things are, they change. That can be hard. Couple that with one year ago, teachers were heroes and now we are targets by so many. Even people I am close with have been bashing teachers, and my area of teaching in particular. I am human and it hurts. I love teaching, and I love music. It is an essential part of me, so why bash it? It  hurts me. Then I realized it is because they are frustrated and can't find their joy maybe. I remember how that feels. I remember being absolutely miserable and not feeling like my life was going anywhere. I still have moments like that. After this week, on Friday evening, I lost it, and lost it big. I was angry, I was sad, and I was done. Poor Mark got the brunt of it, but fortunately he sees it as his job as my husband and partner to help me work through these things and I do the same for him. I am so grateful for him. 

So is joy a choice?.... YES! and I strive to choose it everyday. It makes me a better person for myself and others. 

Joys for this week

1. Mark- he just listens and loves me.

2. The beautiful sunshine

3. The birds chirping in the morning. -Spring is here!

4. Puppy kisses in the morning!

Joys of the week ending March 14th and some extra thoughts a year later

 I have been using the #Findyourjoy mantra for almost 5 years. I can't believe that really, but it's true. It has gotten me through cancer and the treatment, the permanent damage from the treatment, Mark's stroke and his subsequent health issues, but most recently it has gotten me through this last year.

This has been a learning year, I'm not going to say it was bad or horrible, because the whole time wasn't bad or horrible. Granted, I had had a lot of practice at finding joy before this happened and that certainly does not mean it gets easier, but I can lean faster into the joyful things that do happen or I can at least find something or someone who can help me move in that direction. 

Anyway, as mark and I were talking last night about how we felt a year ago. Did we go to the store and stock up? Did we endlessly watch the news? Were we scared or nervous? Honestly... we couldn't remember. The first things I remember was going to school to hand out packets, then going to school to sit outside at a computer to get the files I needed, and finally getting 15 minutes in the school to grab any necessary materials I would need to teach from home. Then I got to work and taught from home. It was hard. It was eye-opening. It made me think about my teaching which was a good thing in my eyes. If I'm not trying to improve then I should be done. 

Being home (even though it was hard) was a huge blessing. I was able to see into Mark's day. See first- hand his good days and bad days. This time also provided a big blessing. Mark was awarded full disability after a three year wait. We were fine on one income(we did change a lot of things to make that happen), but this gave us some breathing room. 

My biggest regret was that I stopped sharing for awhile. Once I had taken people through the initial steps of finding your joy, I stopped. I stopped because I wasn't experiencing what I saw others experiencing through the shutdown. Some were from the tv and social media, but some were the struggles I saw immediate friends and family members going through. I didn't want to seem like I was bragging or boasting because I was still finding my joy. 

With no commute to work (just to my home office) I was able to sit on the deck and linger a bit over a cup of coffee. I was able to take a lunch break and sit and talk to Mark. I was able to clean my house, and do some organizing I had put off. I was content being at home. I was safe being at home. I was with Mark. I didn't see Paige and Jared for quite awhile but we face-timed almost every day. 

I had someone ask me why I had stopped blogging. Honestly I wasn't really sure how many people read my blog. So I had to do some soul searching and decided that if I shared my joys maybe that would help others find theirs. 

What have I learned? On a basic level, I was a very busy person. I liked not being so busy this last year. It gave me time for things I didn't know I was missing. 

Yesterday, a friend from college sent me a surprise package in the mail. It contained a keychain, notepads, and pens that say #Findyourjoy. What a lovely gift. It also contained a note from her. She has also been through some health struggles in the past and has loved embracing #Findyourjoy. I was humbled and I cried. Thank you Elizabeth for the thoughtful gift. 

So... here are my joys for the week

1. Mark is fully vaccinated

2. His almost 91 year old Grandmother is too. 

3. I got up early every day this week and spent time on my yoga mat before work. It made a big difference in my day.

4. Paige was able to visit for a few days. She brought her two dogs and all four dogs played so well. It made Mark smile and that makes me smile!

#Findyourjoy

Joys ending the week of March 7th and staying in the moment

 So, before I list my joys for the week, I need to write about a struggle I've had this week. It's thinking too far ahead and not living in the moment.

This has always been a struggle for me. I'm a planner. What i find though, is sometimes I am worrying about planning and thinking so far ahead, that I'm missing living in the moment. I need to slow down and create moments and just live in them. 

I am admitting right here, that I haven't been on my yoga mat for awhile. I had all sorts of excuses for it too. I LOVE to do yoga outside on my deck and obviously I can't do that in the winter so that was my main excuse.  I wasn't moving my body and I felt terrible. 

Today... I got on my yoga mat and stretched and then just rested and I breathed. It was amazing. 

Back to that as a priority for sure! 

Here are my Joys

1. Mark is scheduled for his vaccine tomorrow!! What a relief.

2. I had someone message me to tell me that my dad gave them their vaccine the other day. I am so proud of my dad. He is a retired nurse, and they asked him to come out of retirement to volunteer to give shots. He's a keeper!

3. Our puppy Remington is doing well. Still hasn't always mastered going potty outside, but certainly getting there.

4. I got on my yoga mat today and spent some time just stretching and breathing. 

It's going to be a great week in the weather department so #Findyourjoy