Find Your Community

 It has been an emotional couple of weeks for me. I yearn for a slower time again. Preferably without the pandemic. I actually was okay when the shut down happened because I wasn't so busy. That's what I learned. I like not being busy. I like to make decisions on what I want to do and not feel compelled to have to do something or make a decision about doing something that I don't want to do or brings me joy.

Now I'm back to busy, busy, busy and I frankly hate it. 

I want to do the things I want to do and are important to me, but I have other responsibilities that add to the busyness. 

This is causing me to look too far ahead again instead of the day in front of me, it is causing me to be short tempered with Mark(which makes me feel horrible), and it makes me feel out of control. 

I am finding my joy though, mostly through my community. So I will say it again. Having that community to surround you is so important. 

I'll get my joy and mojo back....... I will.

I hope you all have a great week and #findyourjoy!

Spring Break

 This past week was Spring break and I had all sorts of plans to get a few things done around the house. I did some of them, but I hurt my back and that prevented me from getting everything done.

The old me would have been mad and sad and a royal pain to be with. As I thought about it though, I did accomplish a lot this week, and maybe I needed to do some resting before the last quarter of school happens. Also, my weekends are super full through June so rest was needed. 

It's Saturday. I just picked up my grocery order, I'm baking some cookies while I get some work done, and tonight I'm making homemade pizza and popcorn and watching a movie.

Tomorrow is busy with church and two family dinners, so Monday morning will come quickly.

I hope you have been able to find some rest this week, and as always I hope you can #findyourjoy

Busy Weekend!

 I had an amazing busy weekend. For the last eleven years, I (along with my awesome music department peeps) have chaired NYSSMA(New York State School Music Association) solo festival at Pioneer. We had to take this year off because of construction at the high school. So I decided this year was the year I should go and train to become a vocal judge! I have judged all-county solo festivals before but wanted to get my certificate to judge at the state level too.

I left after school on Friday and went to Binghamton. We went from 6:30-9:00 pm on Friday with training and then again from 8:30-4:00pm on Saturday practicing running a room and filling out adjudication sheets for all of the students we heard. 

It was tiring but so much fun. Students were so happy to be singing in person again. In 2020 all festivals were cancelled and in 2021 they were taped and sent to judges. 

I'm waiting to hear if I passed and then I'll be able to judge NYSSMA regular vocal solo rooms. 8 regular festivals and then I can train to be an all-state judge. 

I look forward to doing this now and when I retire. It will give me an opportunity to still hear students sing and encourage them to continue through feedback I give them.

I got home around 7 pm Saturday night, had a fairly full day Sunday, and just sat down after a full day at school.

I will sleep like a baby tonight!!!

Hope you had a good weekend, and I hope you can #findyourjoy  this week!

When is it Time?

 How do you know when it's time? 

When is it time to move on to another relationship?

When is it time to change your eating habits? your exercise habits?

When is it time to change jobs?

When is it time to decide to make any change?

What do you do if it is not possible to change?

I told you in last week's blog post about how hard it is to be a teacher right now. I have been seeing a lot of blog posts and twitter posts about teachers leaving the field or wanting to leave the field. 

My heart breaks for them and their students. Most of these people really wanted to be teachers. They had a passion for it. 

Some have left the profession. Some are sticking it out in hopes it gets better. Some are so close to retirement that they are just hanging on.

I began to think about my own situation. I like teaching. I don't always like the circumstances I have to deal with and most are out of my control. So I try to look at what is in my control.

I am 51 years old. I began teaching when I was 21. Technically, when I turn 55, I will have enough years and be the correct age to retire. Most say "Wow that is so young." but, doing the same job for 34 years is a long time. At that point, I can go do something else. 

I have no idea if that will be my plan (to retire) when I get to those magic numbers combined. I don't know how I will know either. I have to wait until I get there.

In the meantime...... I have two choices

1. stay the same

2. move forward

I could float along through these years just hanging on due to the craziness in education from the pandemic(and other things. It wasn't just the pandemic) or I can try some new things and make my final years of public school teaching something different.

This week, I was given an opportunity to do the latter.

Just before the shut down, we moved into our new classroom with tables. We were just getting used to it, and the shut down happened. When we returned. There were desks in rows(to follow the guidelines). 

This week. OUR TABLES RETURNED!

Now I have the opportunity to look at my curriculum and work at a more collaborative approach and I get to really learn how to create a classroom where students take more charge of their learning instead of me giving them information.

It won't be easy. I've taught a long time, but I'm looking forward to it. It gives me purpose again. Purpose as an intelligent person, as a teacher, and as someone who is still striving to learn herself. 

I'm making a change. It is scary. It is time to. It makes me excited. It makes me smile. I'm looking forward to finding the joys that come from this. 

I hope this week you can #findyourjoy.

Taking Care of Yourself

 I'm a little upset with myself, but know I shouldn't be. I have been really trying to take care of myself. I've been eating well, drinking water, exercising, and getting rest. But.... I still caught a nasty cold this week. It came out of nowhere. I felt fine, no actually great on Tuesday. When I got home from work, my throat felt a little raw and I had a dull headache. Then.... BAM! It hit me all at once and I was in bed so congested I wished I could puncture a hole in my face to drain the yuck. Then I spiked a little temperature. I tested for Covid twice, both negative. 

So I rested. I was mad but rested. Today (Sunday) I'm better but still am congested and coughing a little. Ugh

Why was I so mad at myself? 

Maybe I realized how I am not in control of some things. Even though I try to do everything "right" there are some things I cannot control.

So, how do I deal with them?

Guilt mostly. no, really don't you feel guilty when you thought you had control but ultimately didn't?

I felt horrible calling in to work. 

Being a teacher is hard. There are no subs. When you call in, your colleagues pick up the slack. Your slack. Is it my slack though? I feel like it is.

Is it my slack? I have more questions then answers today. That's the congestion in my head I think. 

My colleagues are great and did what they could. I would do the same for them. 

Despite all of this, I did find joys this week.

1. The musical went really well. The kids did a great job!

2. Mark and I caught up on some things since we felt like we hadn't seen each other due to the tech week schedule

3. Mark is doing well. The golf course opens this week!

4. Mark had a neurology appointment and they don't need to see him for a year instead of 6 months

5. It's officially Spring!

I'm going to work hard at getting rid of the guilt this week.

Have a good week and as always I hope you can #findyourjoy

What do you do with a rough couple of days?

 I had a couple of rough days this week. As soon as I didn't react the way I wanted to, I began to beat myself up about it. 

I know I've talked about having grace with yourself, and I sure didn't. I was tired. I had multiple days of late rehearsals, teaching, and 4 shows to play this weekend. I love it, but was tired. When I get tired (or in pain) I don't always make the best choices. I have never been a particularly patient person, so snap reactions are something I'm working on.

I am happy that I can recognize it though. That helps. I can then: 

1. Get some rest

2. assess what happened(not perseverate on it)

3. Move forward with the knowledge that it happened and get back on track

4. Look around and Find Joy

It didn't take too much to find joy today. Our pastor was at another church this morning helping them with some church business, and Nate delivered the sermon. It wasn't one he wrote, but one that was written in the late 40's. He did such a great job and made this momma proud.

I have one show left to play for Pioneer's musical. It's been tiring, but that is a total Joy too. I'm proud of all of these students that I currently have or have had. 

I am preparing for a good week. Full of hopes, possibilities and joy.

As always I hope you #findyourjoy this week!

What if......

 I have been seeing a lot of posts this week referencing the struggle going on in the Ukraine and people in the US complaining about rising gas prices. Most of these posts go something like this:

"Why are you complaining about the gas prices. You are not sitting in your basement listening for gun fire or missile attacks wondering if you will live to see tomorrow."

Puts some things in perspective doesn't it?

I'm assuming the majority of the people who read this blog have never had to hide in their basement because our country has been invaded.

Is our country perfect? Heck no! No country is. 

Do I like the rising gas prices and rising grocery costs? Also No

but....

I adjust my budget, there are still things I can get rid of if I need to.

I've done it before. 

When Mark had his stroke and we suddenly only had one income.

We went to one vehicle. We slashed our grocery budget by eating more economical foods. We didn't order out or go out. We reduced our cable channels.

I can do that again if I need to, but......

I have food. I have a home. I have safety. 

See....... think about what you have. Not what you don't have. 

Pray for this world, this country, the people of Ukraine, and give thanks for what you have. 

I will ALWAYS try to find the joy. It makes me a better person. 

but 

What if.......

I have had "What ifs...." come before, handled them, and found joy. 

No more "What ifs"  and More Find your joys!