When is it Time?

 How do you know when it's time? 

When is it time to move on to another relationship?

When is it time to change your eating habits? your exercise habits?

When is it time to change jobs?

When is it time to decide to make any change?

What do you do if it is not possible to change?

I told you in last week's blog post about how hard it is to be a teacher right now. I have been seeing a lot of blog posts and twitter posts about teachers leaving the field or wanting to leave the field. 

My heart breaks for them and their students. Most of these people really wanted to be teachers. They had a passion for it. 

Some have left the profession. Some are sticking it out in hopes it gets better. Some are so close to retirement that they are just hanging on.

I began to think about my own situation. I like teaching. I don't always like the circumstances I have to deal with and most are out of my control. So I try to look at what is in my control.

I am 51 years old. I began teaching when I was 21. Technically, when I turn 55, I will have enough years and be the correct age to retire. Most say "Wow that is so young." but, doing the same job for 34 years is a long time. At that point, I can go do something else. 

I have no idea if that will be my plan (to retire) when I get to those magic numbers combined. I don't know how I will know either. I have to wait until I get there.

In the meantime...... I have two choices

1. stay the same

2. move forward

I could float along through these years just hanging on due to the craziness in education from the pandemic(and other things. It wasn't just the pandemic) or I can try some new things and make my final years of public school teaching something different.

This week, I was given an opportunity to do the latter.

Just before the shut down, we moved into our new classroom with tables. We were just getting used to it, and the shut down happened. When we returned. There were desks in rows(to follow the guidelines). 

This week. OUR TABLES RETURNED!

Now I have the opportunity to look at my curriculum and work at a more collaborative approach and I get to really learn how to create a classroom where students take more charge of their learning instead of me giving them information.

It won't be easy. I've taught a long time, but I'm looking forward to it. It gives me purpose again. Purpose as an intelligent person, as a teacher, and as someone who is still striving to learn herself. 

I'm making a change. It is scary. It is time to. It makes me excited. It makes me smile. I'm looking forward to finding the joys that come from this. 

I hope this week you can #findyourjoy.

Taking Care of Yourself

 I'm a little upset with myself, but know I shouldn't be. I have been really trying to take care of myself. I've been eating well, drinking water, exercising, and getting rest. But.... I still caught a nasty cold this week. It came out of nowhere. I felt fine, no actually great on Tuesday. When I got home from work, my throat felt a little raw and I had a dull headache. Then.... BAM! It hit me all at once and I was in bed so congested I wished I could puncture a hole in my face to drain the yuck. Then I spiked a little temperature. I tested for Covid twice, both negative. 

So I rested. I was mad but rested. Today (Sunday) I'm better but still am congested and coughing a little. Ugh

Why was I so mad at myself? 

Maybe I realized how I am not in control of some things. Even though I try to do everything "right" there are some things I cannot control.

So, how do I deal with them?

Guilt mostly. no, really don't you feel guilty when you thought you had control but ultimately didn't?

I felt horrible calling in to work. 

Being a teacher is hard. There are no subs. When you call in, your colleagues pick up the slack. Your slack. Is it my slack though? I feel like it is.

Is it my slack? I have more questions then answers today. That's the congestion in my head I think. 

My colleagues are great and did what they could. I would do the same for them. 

Despite all of this, I did find joys this week.

1. The musical went really well. The kids did a great job!

2. Mark and I caught up on some things since we felt like we hadn't seen each other due to the tech week schedule

3. Mark is doing well. The golf course opens this week!

4. Mark had a neurology appointment and they don't need to see him for a year instead of 6 months

5. It's officially Spring!

I'm going to work hard at getting rid of the guilt this week.

Have a good week and as always I hope you can #findyourjoy

What do you do with a rough couple of days?

 I had a couple of rough days this week. As soon as I didn't react the way I wanted to, I began to beat myself up about it. 

I know I've talked about having grace with yourself, and I sure didn't. I was tired. I had multiple days of late rehearsals, teaching, and 4 shows to play this weekend. I love it, but was tired. When I get tired (or in pain) I don't always make the best choices. I have never been a particularly patient person, so snap reactions are something I'm working on.

I am happy that I can recognize it though. That helps. I can then: 

1. Get some rest

2. assess what happened(not perseverate on it)

3. Move forward with the knowledge that it happened and get back on track

4. Look around and Find Joy

It didn't take too much to find joy today. Our pastor was at another church this morning helping them with some church business, and Nate delivered the sermon. It wasn't one he wrote, but one that was written in the late 40's. He did such a great job and made this momma proud.

I have one show left to play for Pioneer's musical. It's been tiring, but that is a total Joy too. I'm proud of all of these students that I currently have or have had. 

I am preparing for a good week. Full of hopes, possibilities and joy.

As always I hope you #findyourjoy this week!

What if......

 I have been seeing a lot of posts this week referencing the struggle going on in the Ukraine and people in the US complaining about rising gas prices. Most of these posts go something like this:

"Why are you complaining about the gas prices. You are not sitting in your basement listening for gun fire or missile attacks wondering if you will live to see tomorrow."

Puts some things in perspective doesn't it?

I'm assuming the majority of the people who read this blog have never had to hide in their basement because our country has been invaded.

Is our country perfect? Heck no! No country is. 

Do I like the rising gas prices and rising grocery costs? Also No

but....

I adjust my budget, there are still things I can get rid of if I need to.

I've done it before. 

When Mark had his stroke and we suddenly only had one income.

We went to one vehicle. We slashed our grocery budget by eating more economical foods. We didn't order out or go out. We reduced our cable channels.

I can do that again if I need to, but......

I have food. I have a home. I have safety. 

See....... think about what you have. Not what you don't have. 

Pray for this world, this country, the people of Ukraine, and give thanks for what you have. 

I will ALWAYS try to find the joy. It makes me a better person. 

but 

What if.......

I have had "What ifs...." come before, handled them, and found joy. 

No more "What ifs"  and More Find your joys! 

Finding Joy in the Midst of Chaos in the World

 The international events of the day are scary. Is it even correct to be going along with our lives and trying to find joy? 

Shouldn't I just be joyful because I'm not in the Ukraine wondering if my life will be gone in the next few minutes? 

Finding joy and pursuing it whole heartedly is a worthy endeavor. It is okay to continue to do this in the midst of the chaos. 

First, we are in a better place to deal with the ills of this world when we are seeking joy. 

Second, you can be joyful in your own life and be concerned and saddened for someone else. 

So, what do we do with horrible situations like this that are way out of the scope that we as individuals can  handle and change?

Here is what some of my friends have done this week:

~ I have a friend who set aside her meditation day(Wednesday) to focus all of her prayers and meditations on the people of the Ukraine. She also called on her friends to meditate and/or prayer for a half hour on Friday. The power of numbers is quite effective. 

~ I have a blogging friend who recognized that this is bigger than her, and is living her life to the fullest and emphasizing her prayer time to this situation. She is giving it to God.

~ I have two friends who had babies this week. They are holding those bundles of Joy tight, and bringing light to the babies being born in the Ukraine this week in bomb shelters. There are many links to help with monetary donations. You can do a google search and choose an organization you feel comfortable with

~I have received many emails from various prayer chains to pray for the situation

~I continue to move forward with my schedule but set aside time to educate myself on the situation and I pray that peace and joy will win.

Do your best this week. Find those joys and hold on to them.

#findyourjoy

New Insights on Joy

 I have been thinking a lot about my joy journey lately. It's always good to check in and see how you are progressing. It was good. It was frustrating. It was sad. It was all of the feelings

I didn't realize that "checking in" with my progress would evoke so many emotions, but it sure did.

I read a few books and a few blogs and began to think I was going about finding joy all wrong. That I wasn't really good at it and I needed to start over completely. After a few days where I really wrestled with that and having some good conversations with people who I'm close to, I realized this......

It's MY journey. We all find joy differently. In different things and in different ways. 

I realized that along with finding my joys I was also looking at other's joys and in many cases becoming jealous. 

Oh Jealousy is a horrible thing. 

I was jealous of other people's joys. I thought I wanted those joys, and when I wasn't finding them, I was jealous that they had. 

Then I started thinking again. Were those joys? or things? 

There is a difference. Maybe I'm not as content as I thought I was. 

Do I need full contentment before I can find joy?

Maybe not full contentment, but a level of contentment. 

If I don't have some contentment, then the joy may not really be mine. 

The other question I've been wrestling with is:

How do my current joys factor in to my dreams for the future? 

Mark is a live day to day guy. He always has been. I have a hard time doing that. I have plans and dreams, but when I begin to doubt those, I begin to lose my joy. 

Joy is in the moment. I need to find those joys in the moment, and smile at them, relax in them, let them hug my soul. But in the back of my head I always wonder "Is there an implication for the future(good or bad) in this?" 

It's something I'm working on and thankful Mark has a different perspective. 

Am I thinking too hard on this? or Are Joys simply Joys that make our walk through this life more beautiful?

Humbleness vs. Pretentiousness (and not feeling walked all over)

 Whew, this is a tough one. What is the opposite of humbleness? pretentiousness?

I met two fairly prominent people last night. This was the first time I had met them. I have heard them talked about in many people's conversations for many years. Well, my initial reaction to them was this. One was humble, and one was pretentious. They were a couple, so it made me start thinking about that. Is that what makes their relationship work? You have heard the saying that opposites attract right? 

Anyway, it got me thinking about myself. Would people say I'm humble, pretentious, or something else? and Does it matter to me? 

If it matters to me, does that make me pretentious?

Also, How do you stay humble and also protect yourself so you are not "walked all over" or taken advantage of?

In all honesty, when I feel taken advantage of, I get angry, and I become pretentious Kim. I throw around my accomplishments like they are confetti in a parade. Then..... I'm upset with myself for not keeping a humble spirit.

It's a fine line to walk. I'm struggling with it lately. 

In the midst of this, I am finding my joy. Prior to meeting those two people last night, I was able to see Nate give a wonderful performance in a play called Puffs. He was proud of this show and his work in it, and he should be. It was really great! 

I hope you all can have a good week and as always I hope you can #findyourjoy